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The Language of Emotion is a powerful tool that can free you from pacing, up and down, in the cage of your own thoughts. The right words delivered at the right time can change your life. Jailbreak Prose is written with this objective in mind. It is written to change lives, maybe, even your own.
I’ve borrowed the term ‘jailbreak’ from the IT industry. Apple technicians, for instance, jailbreak software from an original application and employ it in, say, the iPhone. I’ve written these prose poems to jailbreak the thinking of anyone who has suffered emotional or physical abuse (Moving On), neglect (You Weren’t There!) or the eroding uncertainty of having someone close go missing (To Live Again).
How you use these poems is up to you. They do not spell out a particular incident, but rather deal with the general idea that gets stuck in our heads regarding abuse or neglect or uncertainty. The idea behind Jailbreak Prose is to turn emotions into pictures so that you can see the steps you may need to take to deal with your chaotic emotional thinking. Each poem, however, employs a specific technique used in psychology and these will be explained at the end of each poem.
If any of you have a specific story that you think Jailbreak Prose could address e-mail me: cuebooks@tpg.com.au It may take some time, but I will try to incorporate a poem dealing with the issue on this page some time in the future.
You cannot harm me
You are a fading shadow
In a thin film of memory
And I am strong.
You cannot pull me into the past
And hold me there
The skin you touched
I have shed
Now it is dust
And I am whole
You cannot cut me with your lies
These words echo in an empty room of past memories
I live elsewhere
You are a scrap of paper
Blown into my consciousness by the winds of thought
I pick it up and look at you
I scrunch it up and throw you away
And move on.
By Kerry Cue
This first poem, Moving On, was written for anyone who has suffered emotional or physical abuse at some time in their lives. The aim of jailbreak prose is to put emotional issues into pictures so that you can SEE what you need to do to work you way out of chaotic emotional thinking.
This poem uses mindfulness training. In mindfulness you do not fight a thought, even an unpleasant one, as the more your fight it the more you tag it as a significant emotional issue so it will keep recurring. With mindfulness training you allow a thought to enter your consciousness then let it flow through without a struggle and this allows even the most hideous thought to fade in time.
When life turned spiteful
And slapped me across the face
When I needed a shoulder to cry on
You weren’t there.
When I struggled and stumbled
And reached out for a steadying hand
When I looked to you
You weren’t there!
When my life bubbled with happiness
And I turned to give you
This fleeting gift, the gift of joy
You weren’t there!
I wanted you to be
To live up to
The greeting Card image of perfection
But your greeting card has no image
It is blank on both sides
You aren’t there.
As my life stretches away from me
I realise now others have given me
Comfort, support and strength
Others have shared my joy and dried my tears
I never needed you
You weren’t there!
By Kerry Cue
This prose poem deals with ‘entrapment by category’. We think in stereotypes. Language is defined by stereotypes. The word Chair refers to so many different forms of seating from the plush velvet thrown to a packing case or a convenient rock, it is almost unbelievable that we can lump such variation together. But we can and must group all manner of items and ideas to communicate. Sometimes, however, our thinking gets locked in a category especially with regard to relationships. I try to put your longing for someone in your life to be something they are not so that you can work on freeing yourself from this cage of thought.
When you walked off the film set
Of the movie
That is my life
I thought you would call
Or text or send a postcard
I waited…..and waited
The phone did not ring
The letterbox echoed with emptiness
There was no jubilant ring tone
Calling me to a message from you
But still I waited….
I stood perfectly still and waited
On the film set of the movie
That is my life
I waited as the cameras rolled
But I can no longer remain still
I must move again
Through the film set of the movie
That is my life
So I give you my love to wear
As a soldier wears his dog tags around his neck
These tags are your identity, in part,
They define the life we shared
I give you these ID tags with the hope that one day
They will bring you or your story back to me
I have taken the film reels of all my memories of you
And stowed them in a draw
I have twisted and wrenched the undersized gold ring off my finger
That is my aching for you
Placed it too in the draw and locked it.
As I turn the key I turn off my emotional radar
That senses your presence
In the rustling of every leaf and the murmuring of every shadow
Finally, I place the key on my key ring and carry it as my connection to you
And from time to time I will use it to unlock this draw of stowed memories
Now I shall move again
Through the film set of the movie
That is my life
This tale will encompass all of life’s struggles: labour, love and laughter
It will be the story of a full life
By Kerry Cue (For Michael)
This prose poem is written for anyone who has had to live through someone close to them disappearing without explanation. It is written to put each emotional stage into a picture so that you can see how to step your emotions – with effort, mind - through a process allowing you to regain your life. It uses the method psychologists call ‘setting boundaries’. In fact, we use this method ourselves in everyday life. Someone might say in a conversation ‘Don’t go there’ or ‘We won’t go there’. We choose to block off emotions that are unsettling or ugly. Sometimes we have to do this to survive, but it takes effort. |
